3 Beliefs about Possessions that Drive Us to Save

Getting and saving items has an evolutionary basis. Throughout history, access to essential items like food and survival tools was limited. We developed an innate drive to seek these items and to hold onto them once found, preventing unnecessary loss. 

TL;DR: The mind creates stories about our possessions that are often based on half-truths to avoid risk. The way forward is to accept that our mind has told us a fib to protect us and to develop the ability to tolerate the discomfort that comes with gently challenging our actions and testing these stories, which may lead to changing our behavior.

Our environment, particularly in developed countries, has changed dramatically since the Industrial Revolution, making necessities widely accessible. While many believe that those who hoard today are influenced by parents who survived the Great Depression, this doesn’t explain why only a small portion of our modern society, 3-6%, exhibits problematic hoarding behaviors. 

It’s more likely that some individuals are more sensitive to risk and have nervous systems that have evolved more slowly than others. Additionally, the role of executive function challenges and trauma seems to increase the risk that someone may turn to hoarding to stabilize their world, reducing their perceived risk of being without in the future.

Beliefs about possessions

People who hoard often hold unhelpful beliefs about their possessions. Three of the most common beliefs about personal possessions are:

• Sentimentality
• Usefulness
• Beauty

These beliefs make it hard for those who hoard to let go of their possessions because it feels risky. This shows both anxiety sensitivity and emotional reasoning, which we will discuss later.

Sentimentality

Often, someone I work with will tell me, “I know that I don’t need it…it doesn’t have any monetary value…I probably won’t use it in the future, but it reminds me of this time when….” We all keep items for similar reasons: an old T-shirt falling apart from that once-in-a-lifetime vacation we took 15 years ago. We won’t actually wear the shirt anymore, but its presence in our drawer or closet reminds us of the dinner and bonfire on the beach with our partner that was so magical. So we keep the shirt.

This is the same kind of attachment that those who hoard have to their possessions. They attach memories to many objects. Sometimes this is linked to a belief that all memories should be accessible. However, how our brains consolidate memory shows this isn’t the case. Most people understand they won’t remember every good or bad event and can accept this uncertainty. Still, the minds of those who hoard heavily prioritize memory retention while minimizing risk. The idea of forgetting an event feels unbearable, causing a physical reaction.

Usefulness

Sometimes the story I hear is a bit more utilitarian in nature. “I know that I don’t need it right now…I haven’t used it in a long time…but when I see it, I know it’s still useful. How can I get rid of it if it’s still useful? And I just know, if I do…I’m going to need it right away.”

Usefulness is a complex evolutionary drive related to survival that our nervous system developed when resources were limited. Coupled with the anxiety sensitivity that hoarders experience, the feeling of potentially lacking something useful in the future makes it hard to let go of unused items. Our minds haven’t evolved as quickly as our environments have changed. If you’re curious, think about the story your mind tells you when you’re learning new technology!

Beauty

And sometimes the story the mind tells us sounds more like this, “It’s not useful, I don’t have a special memory attached to it, yet it makes me feel a certain way when I touch it, look at it, or hold it. I can’t possibly let that go!” 

This is quite a common experience. Don’t believe it? Consider why people collect art! It’s not unusual to acquire and retain visually pleasing items, but this can be problematic for some who hoard, as they tend to be highly creative and to have a unique perception of object quality. They notice colors and textures that many others (especially me!) might miss. Certainly, if we saw most of our belongings through an eye that appreciated unique qualities, we’d all find it harder to let go of things.

The Way Forward

For those who hoard, the first step is to acknowledge that their minds have repeated certain narratives until they come to believe them to be true. Often, these stories are complex narratives created to reduce risk, but they become too rigid. This concept is hard to accept. It’s difficult to realize that my mind has told me a story, leading me to believe something is true, with limited evidence.

It’s even more challenging to sit with and address the somatic experiences of distress that come with these types of brains. This is why it’s important to work with a therapist who understands the unique challenges associated with hoarding. 

Want to find out more about hoarding therapy? Ready to join my waitlist? Reach out here.